The Sideways Grocery Cart

Someday, when you come to Australia (and I really hope you do...) I'm sure there will be a time when you need to pop into a local grocery store for water, sunscreen, a small jar of Vegemite. (I am getting goosebumps just thinking of the vile stuff, but you must try it.) When you are in there, try to blast through the jet-lag haze and notice all the sideways walking people going up and down each aisle. Surely, you think, I must be kidding...we know that the seasons are reversed and that the water goes down the loo counter-clockwise, but why would everyone in a grocery store be walking sideways??? Well, I will tell you.

All the grocery stores in Sydney and Melbourne are located in malls or shopping centers. You cannot drive up and park, exit your car, purchase your items and walk back to your car...going to the grocery store involves parking in a carpark or parallelling your car on the street. Then, you go through a series of conveyor belt-type escalators or you take the "lift" or you walk up (or down) ramps to enter the shopping center. You then walk from where you enter the mall to the grocery store, usually, the lower ground level (another series of escalators) where you are finally within sight of the elusive supermarket...yeah...the hard part is over....

NOT SO FAST!!! As you approach the big shiny entrance, you gently pull, then tug, then (using all your strength and a strong left foot) you extricate the somewhat dented grocery cart from all the other slightly dented to seriously mangled editions. All the grocery carts have these handy little rubber stoppers on the frame of the wheel to provide brake action on all the conveyor belts and ramps you will have to cross in order to return to your car. Herein lies the conundrum...Tons of pushing across bumpy sidewalks, conveyor belts, concrete ramps, etc. knock these adorable little brakes out of position. The result, my friends, is that the grocery cart no longer rolls straight, but rolls sideways. Next time you are in the store, stand holding the far end of the cart handle and try to turn the corner from one aisle into the neighboring one....now you are living in my reality. My cart was so bad yesterday, that I turned the cart sideways and pushed it perpendicularly to my body. Of course, the aisles were too narrow to fit myself and anyone else if I pushed it this way....

This is a funny little anecdote about may life in Oz. (The funniest bit is when I push my milk-laden cart through the mall...past Gucci and Ferragamo...to reach the lift to the carpark...) But really, it is a great allegory for the bigger picture of life in Oz. This country is so blessed. It's amazing animals, plants, mountains, coastlines....all are stunning and unique. Australia's natural beauty is like nowhere else on earth. However, so much of Sydney and Melbourne are like the sideways grocery cart. When I asked at the supermarket customer service counter what they wanted me to do with this completely useless cart, once it was empty, the tan-faced girl smiled and said, "Just return it to the trolley return." When I said, "But it is broken...it's completely useless. Shouldn't I leave a note or mark it some way so you can get it fixed?" "Nah, it's okay. We'll just shove it to the back of the trolleys...it'll be days afore someone uses it again."

This is Australia, folks. Beautiful federation-style homes are plagued with dry-rot. Sydney's roads are pocked with pot-holes and fading lane lines. So many of the shops and businesses are in decaying buildings with broken awnings, cracked windows, and chipping paint. My upscale Mosman doctor's office has thin, worn carpeting with plastic seats and stained ceiling tiles. Every handyman I have used tells me how, in Australia, they are expected to perform the minimum amount of repair. Landlords don't mind having these guys out 3-4 times a year to fix the same problem...as long as it's cheap. Of course, the tenant must work out times to be there so the repair can be done....and so it goes. My heart aches for my friends who scrimp and worry all the time about making the rent/payment on their small houses/apartments with no air-conditioning or central heat, tiny gardens, dry-rotted fences and not a driveway or carport to protect their cars from the humid sea air. Rents of up $1,500 a week are paid for such domiciles. How did this happen to such an amazing country? When did it become a society of "Shove it (repairs, upkeep, repainting, renovating) to the back of the pile" type of place? Don't get me wrong. There are beautiful buildings and homes in Sydney, but none of them are maintained to the same level as homes in the US. The "no worries" attitude is really a coping mechanism. If you did worry about all you saw around you, it would drive you crazy. You tolerate rippling, dry-rotted fences. You tolerate traffic jams that last an hour. You tolerate wall-paper peeling away from the wall. And, you tolerate walking sideways through the grocery store.

Margaret Thatcher is quoted as saying..."The only problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money." Well there isn't enough of other people's money here. Many of the small stores and cafe's are so strapped because of the high taxes and high ($17.50/hr.) minimum wages that they can't make the major repairs to their buildings. Strict environmental impact laws make improving your property extremely expensive and takes forever. (One poor farmer in rural NSW just got fined $1 million dollars for clearing shrub brush and dead trees from his land. The ministry of environment fined him $100,000 per hectare... on this man's own land.).

I know this post will anger some. And, if you are happy with things the way they are, then "good on ya"! If I don't like it, you say, I should leave...well, I am...soon. You can stop reading this nosy Nelly American's blog right now. Please do, because I do not wish to be offensive. But, as an outsider looking in and as a woman who really loves her friends here, I am stating what I see. When the frenchman Alexis de Tocqueville came, as an outsider, to study American prisons/society, he was able to objectively look at what America was doing wrong (slavery) and what it was doing right (our system of government and commerce). I am no de Tocqueville, but I do know that waiting around for "someone else" to pay for all that needs fixin' ain't gonna happen. I know that a society that doesn't even demand that its grocery trolleys work properly won't be equipped when there is truly truly something worth standing up for.

When landlords and govt. bureaucrats won't fix something correctly and completely the first-time...it is time to get out the proverbial pitchforks and protest. When the government tells you how much to pay yourself and your employees and how to develop or improve your own land...revolt. It will mean putting down your glass of chardy (chardonnay) or Toohey's (beer) and getting yourself and your fellow citizens organized. You are a beautiful and blessed people...start small...start with your shopping carts....just start!

Opening My "Pie Hole"

I couldn't believe my own brain....I was hearing Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks in my head last Tuesday night. I don't listen to the DC's anymore. The minute Natalie opened her mouth and criticized the commander and chief of our country in a London (hence FOREIGN COUNTRY) bar, I broke and tossed all my Dixie Chick CD's in the trash. What could have happened for such a monumental break in my character to occur???

Well, Tuesday night was the Year 7 Meet and Greet with Skierdude's teachers. When I arrived at the designated atrium at the school, I saw the customary (and complimentary) wine, beer and champers (champagne) awaiting me. This tradition of serving alcohol at these events still completely floors me....I want to remember what I talked to the teachers about, thank you very much..... I declined the libations as the penalties for "drink driving" are stiff and I am a foreigner here on my husband's visa and would be punished even more harshly if caught. (Plus, it was a Tuesday...I mean, really!)

After meeting with Skierdudes teachers, I was chatting amiably with some of my "mom-friends" when a particularly unkind mom (with her posse....these type of women always have posses...have you noticed that?) sidled up to me. She conspiratorially slurred/whispered, "My son tells me you are heading back to the US soon. I'm sure ___(Skierdude) will be sad to leave Australia. It's such a fabulous country..."

Ok...time for backstory. This happy homemaker's son has spent the last two years being a little snot to my son (with his posse, of course...are people like this just not brave without their posse's?). The general tone of the snottiness is that America, Americans and American twelve-year old boys are **** (insert expletive here). My son has been called a selfish yank (because the US hasn't solved world poverty), an arrogant *******(use alliteration here) because all Americans are arrogant ********, and (my favorite) "An Iraqi baby-killer." That one was particularly nice since he was called that after his beloved uncle (an Iraq war fighter pilot) had just passed away. Countless meetings with school administrators later and this child is still at school and I get to watch this witless fool of a women sidle up to me sloshing wine all over the place.


Well.... this is when Natalie Maines' voice echoes in my head. I hear....

I'm not ready to make nice.

I'm not ready to back down.

I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time

To go round and round and round.

I calmly turned and addressed the designer-clad women with this....

You know ____, my happy and eager 11-year old entered this school in a brand new country all ready for an new adventure. All he wanted to do was make friends. And do you know what happened? My son was attacked and picked on about a president he didn't vote for, a war he had no say about and American policies he had never heard of. He was mocked because of the country into which he was born... all the time just wanting to make friends and enjoy living in Australia. And you know the worst part? He had to learn the lesson that, as nasty as these kids were to him, they were innocent victims too. They were victims of small-minded, angry adults who obviously said similar things around them. All ___ /Skierdude/ wanted to do was make friends. So, NO ____. My son will not be sad to leave Australia.

Two of the women in the posse hugged me. There were tears in their eyes. We were all moms after all...we understand children in pain. As I turned to leave, I thought again about Natalie Maines and all her ilk...the Johnny Depps of the world, who nonchalantly bash our country while traveling or living overseas. Thanks a lot for that. You embolden women like the one above to say nasty things about America in front of their children. You justify their already putrid and sad opinions. I have never said anything negative about our current president while living here....not once. Not one Australian knows my opinion about our president. It is not ok to bash our leaders on foreign soil. It just ends up hurting other ex-pats, like us, or foreign-deployed military. To quote the sage and wise philosopher/songwriter Toby Keith..."Natalie, shut your pie-hole."

After returning home, with my feet tucked up beneath me and a lovely cup of Lady Grey tea in my hands, I related my encounter to BigDog Daddy. I was feeling a little un-Christian about the whole thing...I really had evicerated the poor, drunk creature. BigDog Daddy held my hand and said "You spoke nothing but the truth. Jesus spoke the truth and sometimes that truth made people uncomfortable." I still had to say a prayer for her, for Skierdude, for the unlucky kid and his "posse"and for all moms who watch as their kids are bullied. I will try to remember to pray for the DC's as well...when I get around to it.

So, maybe opening one's "pie-hole" is ok if it is in defence of the defenceless. My son needed a champion. Right or wrong, the whole incident was also a good reminder that ... our children are listening.

Lizards & Sauces

Funny musings from the past month>>>>>



Following a sleepover birthday party with six of her girlfriends, Ponygirl found herself barricaded with me in our Holden Viva stationwagon as an Aussie lizard walked across our carport. Ponygirl took this "alone" time to share the fact that she and her friends spent some of the previous night talking about boys in their class. This is the first time this has happenend in her crowd and she didn't know quite what to think. Then came the wise words of wisdom from my smart and savvy ten-year old...."Mom, I think boys are kind of like that lizard. They are interesting to look at, but I wouldn't want to touch one." What more is there to say???





English homework...who knew that in an english-speaking country like Australia, that English homework could be such a challenge? Ponygirl asks, "Mom, what is a homophone for the word "source"? Source? Homophone? I could quickly list off many rhyming words..."force", "course" but a homophone??? Well, a quick email exchange with the teacher revealed the answer...."sauce"! So funny...Australians pronounce source and sauce thusly /sose/ (long "o"). We would never have figured that one out.



Humidity....OMG has it been humid....for weeks. 80% humidity with not a breeze to be felt. I'm a Houstonian...I know my humidity. In Texas, however, you do have some hope of cooling off. Here, you just walk around with a film. I can open up my entire downstairs but without a breeze, forget it. Thank goodness we have a dehumidifier in the basement. Beautiful, multi-million dollar houses that some of my friends are living in have mold and mildew growing all over their laundry rooms. Electricity is so unbelievably expensive here, that many people just don't use dehumidifiers...well, that was until this summer. Every morning after BigDog Daddy and Skierdude have showered, I put their towels in the dryer or else they are still damp the next day....unbelievable! Shops, restaurants, the children's school and most movie theaters do not have air-conditioning. Needless to say, frizzy hair piled ontop of heads and loose fitting clothing have replaced the tres fashionable Sydney chic look this summer. When discussing the greatest inventions of the 20th century... air conditioning has got to be one of the tops.

Olympics coverage- I remember sitting down for those two weeks of the Olympics each year and watching the competitions in prime time with my family. You got to hear the stories of, for example, the Finnish cross-country skier as he rose each morning for his training run across Lapland before heading to the small school where he was the teacher. For those two weeks every four years, you didn't watch Cheers or Seinfeld because they were pre-empted by Olympic coverage. This is not the Aussie tradition. Morning coverage begins @8:00AM and continues through around noon. Then, there is a 10:00PM to 12:30AM review show. If you want to see, for example, all of the ice skating, then you order that channel from your cable provider for around $30.00. Since we already pay an unbelievable amount for our cable and internet, this extra option is not going to happen. The same was true at the Summer Olympics. I didn't see one minute of gymnastics. I saw Nastia Liukin on a tv show and had no idea who she was. This coverage does make you feel quite isolated from it all, but, on the other hand, you do not miss your prime time shows.

The big salad- Elaine, from Seinfeld, would love this one... At lunch with some friends, I found the all-time best "Big Salad". Here it is...baby spinach, cubed greek feta, a huge portion of thinly sliced prosciutto, freshly sliced thick wedges of peach all dressed with honey. All you need is some italian bread on the side and a lovely glass of sav blanc and you are in heaven. Try it .... it's amazing.

I promise not to complain too much more about the heat and humidity here as many of you dig out of the snow...just know that as you are freezing in your sheets, I am sticking to mine.

Found Time to Read the Paper

So I am sitting in the Holden car dealership waiting for someone to fix my air-bag indicator light and I am faced with two options: 1. listen to the droning morning program on the tiny television in the corner or 2. read today's Sydney Morning Herald sitting there on the table. Since it is 7:30 in the morning (most Aussie's don't really get started until 9:00AM or so) the paper is untouched. The blond presenter on the morning show is interviewing some pastry chef at the cafe she is doing the show from in Melbourne. Since I am coffee and breakfast deprived and in Sydney not Melbourne, I choose the paper.


Front page....Haiti- The gist of the article is 1.Thank God Obama is in office 2. ignore the fact that workers can't really get as many supplies in because no one in leadership allows the police/military to shoot looters on sight 3. Sure hope someone can find a way to rebuild Haiti...oh well, Obama will just talk to them and lollipops and powerbars will rain from the sky.


The most fun section in the paper hands down is the Opinion section...a real window into the Aussie soul. Today did not dissappoint.

#1:FOX ADDS A BRUNNETTE TO BLONDE WEAPONRY AGAINST THE PRESIDENT

(I know...I'm in Oz, but this is the headline for the lead editorial.....)

Paul Sheehan's power-house editorial explains how 35 of the 53 women @ Fox News (he knows...he counted) are blondes. With their "chiseled chin-lines, big hair and radioactive lipgloss", he dubs them "Foxy News". (He is so clever.) Now the foxiest, big haired, and lipglossiest woman, Sarah Palin, is part of their beauty stable. He then goes on to explain how Fox does everything in its power to ensure that Obama's poll numbers continue to go from "euphoric to skeptical". If you read far enough, however, even Mr. Snarky stumbles on the truth....

"Every day, in every way, before an ever-growing audience, Fox News beats the drum of 'socialism'. It is portraying Obama as a two-faced ideologue who is doing dirty deals to get his sweeping left-wing, big government agenda through Congress, bankrupting the nation in the process.

I laughed out loud in the waiting room at that paragraph. So...in other words....Fox News is reporting the truth??? I don't think the editors read that part too closely. I mean, come on... no matter what your party, the bribing of Mary Landrieu and Nebraska senator Ben Nelson has got to be classified as dirty deals.

#2 PRINCELY MAGNETISM COULD SWING VIEWS ON MONARCHY

Ross Cameron expounds on how great it is that Prince William is visiting NZ and Oz this week. Australia is part of a"reluctant limited monarchy". A referendum to cut ties with Britain and become a republic was defeated in six out of six states. Here, Cameron defends the decision....here's the kicker paragraph...get ready....

"The most politically stable and free nations are limited monarchies-Australia, Belgium, Britain, Canada, Denmark, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden, and The Netherlands among others. Japan has enjoyed its best 63 years since installing a limited monarchy. In the Middle East, Jordon and Morocco stand out among their historically strife-torn neighbours."

By now, my sides are aching from laughing....can this guy be serious? I mean, I'm glad he can alphabetize but really???Here is what is going through my mind....

OK...Australia, Belgium, Britain, Denmark, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden, Holland----all socialist countries with heavy government involvement/ownership of banks, airlines, car companies, healthcare, insurance, urban central-planning (ie: telling people where they can and can't live) with some of the above complicit in keeping addicts addicted. Japan prospered once they stopped invading other countries in Asia and the USA moved in to be their defacto military. Jordan and Morocco...let's just say that I don't want to be arrested and thrown into one of their prisons.

Now, I am not saying these countries aren't wonderful places, but to call them the most free places on earth....that I cannot swallow.

Saving the best for last....

#3 SCRAPPING THE M4 TOLL WILL MAKE ROADS WORSE

Poor Patricia Forsythe.... she is furious that the M4 motorway will be handed back to the State Government. It promised to "scrap the $2.75 toll and provide commuters with a toll-free motorway that stretches from Strathfield to the Blue Mountains." "Why is the Government embracing a policy that will encourage more motorists to use the M4?" Ms. Forsythe wonders aloud. Ok. I will proceed slowlythrough her problem with this lifting of the toll.

#1 It may be beneficial to residents and business operators in Sydney's west, but "the cost of congestion, or wear and tear on their cars and the stress and more time spent away from families will outweigh that saved money." (What about the other motorways of Sydney? Won't there be less congestion on them and they can have less stress, wear and tear and time with family because they can get home faster?)

#2 "Tolling roads is no longer merely a method of funding infrastructure....It is now also about sending behavioural signals to commuters about how we want them to commute around our city." (So....vee vill tell you how to live.....vor your own goot!)

#3 "The Roads and Traffic Authority (RTA) still worship at the altar of the automobile and cling to the discredited belief that the cheapest and most efficient means of public transport is the motor car." (Of course, there are very few lines that travel far enough out to West Sydney... but I'm sure they will be building some cheaply and efficiently...soon...someday....some year....some millienia. How dare people live that far away anyway!)

So you can see...don't let people keep their own money, government---go back on your promises, don't be fiscally responsible and build more roads...just make people live closer to the existing rail lines.

This is an example why, after two weeks of subscribing to the Sydney Morning Herald, I cancelled. Lining the litterbox is too good for this rubbish. The good news: My airbag indicator light was just a loose connection....and under warranty! Some things in Sydney are without a fee!!!

Stick to the Wall Street Journal editorial page...unless you want a good laugh!

Blogger Brain Dump

I haven't been able to blog....here is a blogging brain-dump.

Halloween party....50+ friends, rented a frozen drink/slushy machine....big hit. Found a butcher to order a brisket for me...$10.00 per kilo....Australian candy, texas brisket and the Monster Mash on the CD player.

Peonies and jacaranda...Spring has sprung. Purple flowers hanging from boughts. Raining flowers each time the breezes blow. Look out over the hils and you see the red tiled roofs and purple flowers, blue sky and blue water....fantastic.

Talk radio... No national radio here...an example of topics discussed, "The council is charging $15 bucks to go to the shore for the New Years Eve fireworks. That is outrageous! The shore belongs to Australia!" (Of course, the reason they are charging is because so many people set down their blankets around noon and get soooo rip-roaring drunk, that by midnight so many have become sick and the ground so rubbish covered that the Councils have to have a huge cleanup the next day.) Callers and hosts alike are also heard saying "What's the government going to do about that?" as the ongoing question to every problem...as a self-reliant American who basically wants the government to fund the military, roll Easter eggs on the lawn, light the Christmas tree and otherwise stay out of my life, this mantra is a bit disturbing...oh well....when in Rome....

Tiger Woods...He is here for the Australian Masters in Melbourne. Only The Bamster or, to a lesser extent, Jesus Christ incarnate could generate bigger headlines. Tiger is BigDogDaddy's firm's, Accenture, spokesperson. So, a group of Accenture folks from Sydney are travelling down to Melbourne this weekend to watch the golf. BigDogDaddy will be one of those. A glass of wine, a breeze from the Antarctic and Tiger in his red shirt...not bad.

End of the school year....Roller coaster plunging down from the apex....grip tightly. Since Year 6 is the last year of Jr. School (High School starts in Year 7), Skierdude has lots of activities: 1.)Year 6 Beach Day (during school); 2.) Year 7 Orientation (during school, parents needed first two hours); 3.)Year 6 breakfast (during school); 4.) Year 6 Disco Dance (a Friday night); and 5.)Speech Day (this is the awards day at the convention center on the last day of school). Let's not forget Ponygirl....Year 4 beach party, 3 ballet rehearsals and her ballet recital. She also has Surf Education at Manly (during school) for the next three weeks. All these activities require food, susnscreen, towels, and appropriate clothing/shoes to be packed and ready before they head off. Skierdude's experience at the disco dance....I will have to fill you in on that one after it occurs. I am looking forward to December 9th.

Messiah....What better way to ring in Advent then being given the chance to sing this massive work (unabridged) in the Sydney Opera House. Now that I have mastered the British names for music values (crotchets, breves, semi-breves, etc.), I can fully dive into this project. We are expected to sing it from memory. I have always thought memorizing bible verses was hard...now I know how to do it....put it to music. Singing the words of Isaiah really fill the soul. I can't even describe what singing the Hallelujah Chorus feels like.

Off to pick up Skierdude from Balmoral (sailing) and then back to Redlands for Ponygirl (ballet). Dinner is made and just needs to be warmed and the fridge is full of milk, fruit and veggies...life is looking up in the land down under!

24 Hours...

Ok...I am going to irritate some people with this entry. I know some of my friends are going to be dismayed by my wading into a subject I could easily leave alone...but, this is what the blog-isphere is for...getting things out there so they stop swirling around in my brain. So, stop reading now if you don't want to know my opinion about a certain political bit of news this week. I promise to return to anecdotes about our life in Australia in my next entry.

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Many of my friends and family are aware of my conservative political views. BigDogDaddy gets particular enjoyment out of seeing me get wound up when I am asked my opinion about an issue that involves personal liberty and freedom. With his half-smile and raised eyebrow, he silently communicates..."Hey, you did ask her..." when those debating me look over to him. Well, I politely sat as a very sweet friend of mine, over lunch, waxed poetically about Ted Kennedy. I sipped my Coke Zero.... Then, she said, innocently, "As an American, I know you must agree." "Are you asking me what I thought of him? Because you won't like my answer." "Oh, absolutely!" she said. I mean who would criticize a Kennedy...

"My feelings about Ted Kennedy," I said, "come down to two words." "Which two?", she asked. "Twenty-four hours", I said. "This man, who had seen great tragedy and suffered great loss made a huge mistake by driving too fast and the wrong way down an unpaved road. We all make mistakes...even tragic ones. However, after his car plunged into a tidal basin off the island of Chappaquiddick, Kennedy swam to the shore and then, instead of calling for help from the nearby houses or phoning the police, sought help from his friends and his lawyer and hid in his hotel room all night."

"You and I are both mothers," I said. "Imagine not knowing where your daughter is for TWENTY-FOUR HOURS! Really, try to imagine that. It took Kennedy twenty-four hours to report the accident. Mary Jo Kopechne had to be FOUND in his car before he went to the authorities. I have told my children thousands of times that being a person of character means you do the right thing when no one is around. Kennedy's complete lack of character, in my mind, made him unworthy to serve the state of Massachussetts. Kennedy, through the benefit of his father Joe's whiskey deal he secured while serving as US Ambassador to the UK, would never have to work to provide food and shelter for his family. Why didn't he retire from public life and dedicate his life to serving our country by doing philanthropic work. He could have spent his time speaking out on the difficult battle many Americans wage against alcoholism. He could have lobbied Congress for stiffer sentences for drunk driving. He could have used his wealth to create foundations for the causes he believed in. True, the good people of Massachussets re-elected him after the incident, but a true man of character would never have offered himself up for another term."

I went on to tell her about my car accident in college. "As a passenger, the girl I was driving with made a sharp right turn into a shopping complex from the middle lane of a six-lane highway. My side of the car was creamed. As I went to the hospital, my father was answering the phone call of the girl's father, a bigwig from Connecticut. He told my dad that he had "been in touch" with his lawyer in case my family decided to sue. No, he didn't ask how I was, no, he didn't take any responsibility for his daughter's wacked out driving...he only thought of himself. A dear, beloved man I know, on the other hand, did get charged and convicted of a serious driving offence. He could have easily driven out of that state and avoid driving in that state forever...they probably wouldn't have found him, or he could serve out the punishment given to him. He was "scared and overwhelmed" just as Kennedy said he was after the incident. Well, this dear, beloved man showed up at his appointed time months later at the correctional institution to take responsibility for his actions. He told me he couldn't live with himself if he ran away what he had done. He showed his character. We all make mistakes, we all will get forgiveness when we ask, but we also have a responsibility to each other, ourselves and the God who made us to "make good" those things we have done wrong. Kennedy was never charged for his mistake. Many would say his battles for the "common man" overshadow his faults. I say, the common man would have served jail time for what he did."

"Twenty-four hours. You don't know where your daughter is for twenty-four hours. Someone does know. Someone knows she is lying upside down on the roof of a car at the bottom of a tidal river. The coroner thinks she found an air pocket that could have kept her alive for as long as three hours. Then, that someone goes on to say "Vote for me. I will be your leader and champion!" I have never wished the man harm and his ultimate judgement is not up to me, but I will not be joining you, my dear friend, in the laud and admiration of this man. Not today, not tomorrow. I will sit quietly and drink my Coke Zero and pray that those men and women who say "Vote for me. I will be your leader and champion!" have the character that we, Americans, deserve."

Homecoming

Skierdude is coming home this weekend. He has learned a lot about being on his own these last three weeks. He didn't make his bed before the school day started...so he had to vacuum the dormitory and common areas. (He is the vacuumer in our house, so I'm sure it made him feel at home.) He and 5 other boys were late to class after lunch...they had to organize the storage room. He has turned in his laundry on time...it comes back magically folded. Cool how that happens. The snow last week was so heavy that Skierdude called during the day to tell me how big and beautiful the flakes were.

His care package included the most decadent, ridiculous and delicious of American foods...Chocolate chip pop-tarts and marshmallow fluff. (Thanks to www.usafoods.com.au) Many of his Aussie friends teased Skierdude about the unhealthiness of these products. He said they didn't turn down the chance to try the fluff on their toast, however. I also included pretzels and a new toothbrush....I do have a conscience. This latest one I sent, I included some JuicePlus tablets to ensure he is getting some vitamins from vegetables. I tucked them around the ski socks, poptarts and chewing gum.

Skierdude has gotten a chance to taste some new foods. He now loves poached and fried eggs. He loved fried rice. "It's good as long as you eat around the vegetables. It had egg on top." He has actually been eating lots of rice. Australians love curries: chicken curry, lamb curry, vegetable curry, etc.. These are NOT Skierdude's favorite. Curries are served over rice...hence, the large quantities of plain rice being consumed. As I told him, "Just add a little salt and some butter and rice is delish!" Food on the mountain at Thredbo is, as you can imagine, really, really expensive. Skierdude has had to learn to budget his weekly allowance and pack a sandwich that will fit in his pocket on the weekends. It's amazing how "un-picky" one can become when you have limited funds and an unlimited appetite...

On the home front, Ponygirl has decided to take a break from riding to attend ballet classes twice a week. The class follows the Royal Academy of Dance curriculum. It is extremely formal and she is learning quickly. She says she likes the barre work best because she can keep her balance much better. It should be a great experience. She is also finishing up her soccer season and has joined the Drama afterschool club.

The house is much quieter and I do not need to buy milk three days a week. I even have leftovers in the refrigerator. Stormy is doing his best to keep up the noise level. Whoever said cats are quiet and docile animals have not met Stormy. His favorite circuit course is to leap on top of the television, to the mantle above the fireplace and then fling himself onto the coffee table. I have been trying to set boundaries for him...it's not easy training a cat. He is getting better but a I think he probably does whatever he wants when we are not at home.

So, wish us well for this weekend. Skierdude's flight comes in at noon on Friday. I get to experience the fun of picking him up from the Sydney airport...just like the rest of Sydney-crazy busy, tons of impatient taxis, and exorbitant parking fees. Hopefully, Skierdude's parental units (us) won't be too micro-managing. He's been on his own for three whole weeks afterall....

New Aussie slang to add to your dictionary:

Fair dinkum- real, genuine.
Ex: We will have a fair dinkum Aussie Chrissie this year. (A real Australian Christmas.)

Matilda- bed roll, sleeping bag
Ex: Pack your matilda. (Imagine that phrase on a school packing list...)

Pom- an Englishman.

My favorite slang derived from this Pommy Towel (As dry as...): this refers to the supposed poor bathing habits (once a month) of Englishmen.
Ex: It's as dry as a pommey towel.

Another funny one: Pommey shower- to use deoderant
Ex: Don't forget to pommey shower.

I am always happy to add to one's high-brow vocabulary. Drop some of those phrases at your next dinner with the boss...