First off, the internet. There is good news and there is bad news. The good news-everyone in Sydney that would like internet service can have it at a reasonable price. The bad news-since it is subsidized, it is equally----BAD, SLOW, RATIONED!!! Backing up my computer's hard-drive to an online storage website usually takes 3-5 days in the US. Here.....four and a half weeks! I could not open the internet during this time, hence, no blogging. No worries...I would just upgrade my service.
Conversation #1:
IP: (Internet provider)G'morning this is ____ how may I help you?
Me: I would like to see if there is a way to make my internet service faster.
IP: Fasta?
Me: Yes. It took us a month and a half to download some items to an internet storage sight. Apparantly it was on a dial-up speed.
IP:Yeah. Afta a certin numba of 'ours, six ah think, the intahnit connection speed revahts to dial-up speed.
Me: Well, I am willing to pay for an upgrade of service. How much would your upgrade packages cost?
IP: Look, the sahvice you have is the bist one we offa.
Me: Really? Dial-up speed?
IP: We haven't got the infrastrucha to hindle any more speed. New South Wales doesn't provide money for more wireless grids.
Me: The government gives you guys money?
IP: Keeps the cost down.
Me: Oh, okay. Thanks for your help.
IP: No worries!
Winter School:
Surferdude will soon be changing his name to Skierdude. The school the kids attend, offer grades 6-10 the opportunity to go away to the "Winter Campus" in Jindabyne, NSW (think The Man from Snowy River movie) for the 3rd quarter and attend school. For 10 weeks, the kids live in dorms, attend classes (one teacher from each grade comes and lives at the High Country Campus) and ski. Skierdude has been begging since we moved here to attend. He will be leaving the end of July. He comes home every 3 weeks. We have purchased skis, boots, poles, a helmet, the ski uniform, the winter school uniform, socks, gloves, hats, a cell phone, a lambswool duvet & cover, and ski wax. We have also made our final payment for the extra tuiton this junket requires. So....I was bit surprised to have this conversation.
Conversation #2
(Where the children's school loses $12,000 of our money, then tries to charge us 18% interest on the amount not paid.)
AB: (Accounts department Bloke) G'day
Me: Hi, we just received this rather alarming letter from you about our account being in arrears $12,000. The relocation company that handles our tuition said it was for "Winter School". I don't know what happened, but we have paid this tuition. We would not have been accepted into the winter school program unless we had paid. Here is my son's acceptance letter to winter school.
AB: Look, we git so much money rahllin' in here, that, unless it was specificly mahked with 'is name and "wintah school", it just gits put into the soup, so ta speak.
Me: $12,000 dollars.
AB: I'm sure we kin find it.
Me: $12,000 dollars
AB: Jis give me the dates and the amounts, plus the account numbah and I'm sure we'll find it.
Me: $12,000 dollars
AB: (Smiles, expecting me to be satisfied and leave.)
Me: You lost $12,000 dollars, wired from a bank in three installments, each labelled "(child's name)-Winter school". Then, you sent a threatening letter to the relocation company handling this account, basically slandering my husband's name, then you charge 18% interest on the total amount. I take time out of my day to resolve this and I don't get a "sorry" or an "oops" or a "geez we screwed up"!!! I don't want to see one penny, one shilling, one drachma of interest on my next statement. Do you UNDERSTAND???
AB: (still smiling) Ah look, the interest will be on ya next statement...the computah ahtamaticly puts that on.
Me: (teeth clenched) Then HACK INTO IT AND TAKE IT OFF!!!
AB: Ah look, as soon as yah prove yah paid it we'll refund ya the money. No worries 'bout that.
Me: (whispering now...not a good sign for me. I'm only kinda mad when I shout.) I want you to mark my file as "Crazy American Woman". Every statement, every letter, every bit of printer cartridge you use on this account comes straight to me "Crazy American Woman" at this address. I am going to talk to everyone from the headmaster to the janitor about how this office views the hard-earned money of its customers. I will get you a copy of every statement you need, and then I will never set foot in this room again.
AB: (still smiling) Look forward to 'earin' from ya then...
Markets-
Sydney has beautiful, open air markets. Some focus on crafts, some on fruits and veggies, some on clothing...on a clear Aussie day, these are the best place to be in all the southern hemisphere. There is a particularly great one I go to on Wednesdays. It is a produce market. Fresh lamb, cheeses, breads, chicken, fruits, vegetables, flowers...and of course two coffee stands with big, gorgeous espresso machines allow for a lovely morning for as long as the cash holds out.
Conversation #3:
(Where I visit with a young Frenchman working behind the Patisserie stall.)
Me: Hi. Are those soft pretzels there, next to the Brioche?
FL: Oui, oui. They are very soft.
Me: I will take two of those and two baguettes.
FL: I notice you are wearing gloves.
Me: Yes, I am freezing....I never imagined I would be so cold in Australia.
FL: Oui, my house it has no heat.
Me: I know, we don't in most of our house either.
FL: Now we know why kangaroo so hairy now, oui?
Me: Oui. I don't mind shivering when I can look out over the Harbour though, no?
FL: Oui. Beauty makes zee heart warm.
Me: Absolutely!
So, I promise to be a better blogger. Keep sending those comments! It may take me a while to download them, but they will make "zee heart warm!"
Remember, no worries. Aneurisms yes...worries, no.
No comments:
Post a Comment